• “I answer in a languid voice: ‘Darling, why didn’t you call for so long?’”
• “I replied that I had no time, I needed to perform a feat, then save the world, and in the evening I would declare war on England. No emotions. I suggested that we declare war on England together. I thought about it. I thought for about five seconds. Then I started saying that it was better to live in peace.”
• “I replied, quite sincerely and without sarcasm, that I was very glad that they finally called me again. For some reason, they hung up.”
• “I usually introduce myself as Olimpiada Samsonovna, but I ask you to call me simply Lipochka. After that, they hang up.”
• “And I pretended that I couldn’t hear well. I said, ‘Girl, speak louder.’ She started speaking louder. I said, ‘Why are you whispering?’ In the end, they hung up on me themselves.”
• “A friend got a call from the ‘bank security service’ when she was riding the bus. She said, ‘Guys, you should come up with something more creative!’ Answer: ‘And recommend something.’
• “I answer that I have no opportunity to make a translation, I am in prison. And then his voice changed: “What, is it true or something?” He hung up. Five minutes later he calls back. He asks if I told the truth and maybe he needs some help.
• Once I got a call from the ‘bank security service’. There was office noise in the background, as if everyone was working. But you couldn’t hear their voices at all. So I said, ‘Make the office quieter, otherwise we can’t hear you!’ They hung up right away.”
• “Scammers: ‘State your entire card number and wait for an SMS.’ Me: ‘9876543210123…’ The scammers interrupt: ‘Too many numbers.’ Me: ‘I can continue if you want.’ They hung up.”
• “Recently I’ve reached the point where they ask me to give a three-digit code, then I tell them that I have a new-style card and it has letters instead of numbers. They ask me to give them, and I dictate obscene words. They immediately hang up.”
• Someone once called me and introduced himself as a junior employee of the bank’s security service. I was offended and said: ‘Why junior? I want to talk to the most senior, and even better – to Gref.’
• “When they say: ‘Did you send them?’, I answer menacingly: ‘She sent you to hell.’ Once she sent a curse 12 generations ahead. I was taken aback.”
• “A young man with a lisp has been calling me for a year now. The first time I had a fight with him, I called him a rooster. Now, when he calls, he recognizes my voice and then asks: “Is this my hen?”
• “They called when I was sleeping. I answered in a sleepy voice that I had made a transfer to some guy in some city. To which he replied: “How did you make the transfer if you were sleeping, my sunshine?” And I was like: “I’m just sleepwalking and transferring money.” He hung up right away.”
• “They call me by my first name and patronymic. I say: ‘No, call me My Lady,’ and for some reason they hang up right away.”

The goal of all spam calls is your money: if you say that you are an insolvent bankrupt, the operator will definitely hang up faster. If you are told that you have won a free holiday in Thailand, say that you have recently received a court order to stop you from leaving the country or are awaiting trial.