Discover the causes of low emotional intelligence and how it can impact relationships, career, and overall well-being. Learn how to improve emotional intelligence skills for a happier life.

Emotional intelligence refers to a person’s ability to recognize, understand, and manage their own emotions and those of others to achieve certain goals. A person with low emotional intelligence can be seen in their daily behavior.They may have difficulty maintaining relationships due to a lack of social skills or difficulty empathizing with others. This is because they have difficulty regulating their emotions so they can use them appropriately.

 Low Emotional Intelligence Causes;Low emotional intelligence can be caused by many factors. 

1. Lack of Knowledge about Emotions.

In our daily lives, we do not have specific or specific teachings about emotions. Society and the existing education system place much higher emphasis on developing students’ Intelligence Quotient (IQ) or academic intelligence. 

As a result, many people have difficulty expressing and understanding their emotions. Many people cannot name or pinpoint what causes them to be emotional, and how to manage the emotions themselves.

2. Low Intrapersonal Intelligence

Intrapersonal intelligence is the ability to understand the inner life. People who are in tune with their thoughts and emotions tend to have high intrapersonal intelligence.

Emotional intelligence is a natural consequence of high intrapersonal intelligence. The deeper you can see into yourself, the deeper you can see into others. At a very basic level, people are all the same. They have fears, hopes, worries, and dreams.

3. Lack of Exercise

It is not enough to just know about emotions, once you understand what triggers emotions within yourself and others, you need to get used to training your emotional intelligence.

Emotional intelligence can be improved with practice and feedback. For example, when you behave in a socially inappropriate way, then other people around you complain that your behavior bothers them. Some of those people will usually tell you exactly how they feel about you. This is negative feedback for you. 

Therefore you can see your mistakes and put yourself in their shoes. You can make a mental note not to repeat bad behavior. Things like this if honed more, then your emotional intelligence will increase over time.

4. Parenting Patterns

If you were raised in a family that was less open to expressing emotions and tended to get punished, then there is a possibility that you have low emotional intelligence.

Many parents pay little attention to their children’s emotional lives. Most parents ask their children about their grades in school and almost never ask how a child is feeling. As a result, children grow up in an environment where they feel it is not safe to talk about feelings.

Children are left to deal with their own emotions, just like their parents do. As a result, there is a lack of knowledge and understanding of emotions about themselves and others.

5. Having a Negative View of Emotions

Emotions are often identified with negative connotations. Emotions are seen as the opposite of logic, something that is highly valued by society. In many ways, emotions are the opposite of logic. When we are under the grip of strong emotions, we tend to become illogical.

But it’s easy to forget that emotions have their own logic. When you gain logic about your emotions, you can better understand and manage them.

Because emotions are seen as the opposite of logic, many people fail to apply logic to emotions. Instead of treating emotions like any other natural phenomenon that needs to be understood through reason, you dismiss emotions as something that logic cannot apply to.

Emotional intelligence is about applying logic to emotions. Seeing emotions as something different beyond the reach of logic is one of the things that causes your emotional intelligence to be low.

6. Not Detail Oriented

Intrapersonal intelligence is about being detail-oriented about yourself. The context of detail here is paying little attention to changes in your mood and energy. 

Additionally, being detail-oriented about others helps you understand them better. You can notice small changes in them and understand what caused them. Developing and honing this skill allows you to connect with them on a deep emotional level.

7. Selfishness

High selfishness appears in children, but as you grow up, you learn that other people have their own minds. You understand that other people have thoughts and emotions.

This awareness plants the seeds of empathy in you. As you interact with more people, the experiences you have often strengthen your own empathy.

However, it is easy to revert to our old selves and still have selfish traits. People with low emotional intelligence ignore the needs and emotions of others. You have a selfish win-lose mentality. In contrast, adults with high emotional intelligence do not ignore the needs and emotions of others.

In a relationship or job, it can be categorized as successful if one of the parties involved has a ‘win-win’ mindset or benefits many parties. Developing this mindset requires a high level of emotional intelligence.