Discover effective strategies and tips on how to handle a brat girlfriend and improve your relationship. Set boundaries, practice empathy, and encourage positive behavior for a healthier relationship.Jealousy is a problem for the person who experiences it, but it can also cause suffering to the partner, and for this reason in this entry we offer guidelines that will help make it easier for the other person to overcome their jealousy but above all will prevent our partner’s jealousy from limiting our life, damaging our self-esteem and suffocating us.

How to Handle A Brat Girlfriend

. Listen to her and put yourself in her shoes

Sometimes, behind our partner’s jealousy there is some circumstance that makes them feel more insecure or suffer more when faced with certain things, such as the infidelity of a previous partner, some kind of complex about their physical appearance or their ability to please you, an excessive fear of breaking up the relationship… If this is the case, find a quiet moment when you can talk openly about this topic , without judging each other, in order to better understand the reasons for the other person’s fear and to be able to convey your love and understanding. But be careful, this should not become a recurring topic of conversation: you have to look to the present and the future.

2. Speak clearly about the conditions of your relationship

We often have a preconceived idea about what a relationship “should” be like. However, as soon as we look around us and talk to other people, we will realize that there are different ways of conceiving relationships and couples and that what is natural for some is not so natural for others. Instead of trusting that you both have the same expectations, it is better to put them on the table. What do you consider infidelity? What do you expect from the other person? Are you in an open or closed relationship? Sometimes we avoid these topics because we do not want to hear the answer or we pretend that we are happy with a type of relationship when we really are not. In the long run, it will be better to be honest and face this conversation to try to reach agreements or, if that is not possible, look for another more compatible person.

3. Respect the commitments you have made

If my partner is jealous and I betray him or lie to him, I will be confirming his fears and perpetuating his jealous attitude. Therefore, it is important to have a sincere and clear conversation (previous point) and be consistent with the decisions made. If one day you decide that you are no longer comfortable with these commitments, talk about it again calmly but sincerely, but do not change the rules of the game behind your partner’s back.

4. Maintain your relationships, your lifestyle and your priorities

When we start a relationship, it is natural that some aspects of our life change and we adapt to the other person, dedicating a certain amount of time to them, looking for compatible forms of leisure, etc. The problem is when the “space” we make for that person in our life ends up overwhelming everything and forces us to exclude other activities or people who are important to us. Don’t give up your friends, family, hobbies, personal space… for the other person. Having a partner doesn’t mean sharing everything , and keeping parts of your life independent will help to nourish the relationship and make you less vulnerable to difficulties.

5. Don’t give in to their pressure to calm you down

When we see our partner suffering, it is natural that we have a tendency to want to protect and calm them down. The problem is that in the long run, we will only contribute to feeding their jealousy and insecurities , since our partner will learn to pressure us, control us or question us as a way of staying calm. Being in a relationship implies facing uncertainty and taking a leap of faith in the other person, since absolute certainties do not exist . Your partner will have to learn to tolerate that uncertainty and trust you when there are no guarantees. The best way to help them is to continue making your life so that they face their insecurities and learn to tolerate them.

6. Maintain your privacy

Although our partner is usually the person with whom we share the most aspects of our intimacy, this does not mean that we should give up on it completely. Different people will feel comfortable sharing more or less aspects of their personal life and we have the right to have our privacy respected. You are not obliged to give your partner access to your email, your mobile phone or your photos, just as you do not have to give them access to your bank account. Having privacy is not the same as deceiving or hiding  and it is important that if something does not make you feel comfortable, you communicate it firmly. You are also not obliged to give all kinds of justifications or explanations to your partner for all your actions, conversations, etc.

7. Be clear and sincere, even if it is difficult

A common mistake that partners of jealous people make is to start hiding information, often trivial, to avoid conflict or suspicion from their partner. What seems like a good idea in the short term, ends up making everything much more difficult in the long run, since sooner or later our partner will see things that “don’t fit” and will come to conclusions like “Why did he lie to me about this nonsense if there wasn’t something more important behind it?”, “If he lies to me about this, how can I trust that he doesn’t lie to me about more important things?”, etc. As a consequence, he or she will become more suspicious and distrustful and we will tend to lie or hide more so as not to trigger an argument. The best way to break this vicious circle is to be honest and clear even if it creates some unpleasant situations for us in the short term.

8. Don’t be connected 24 hours a day

New technologies give us the possibility of being connected to everyone whenever we want. As a result, we often remain in constant contact with our partner and keep them informed of all our movements. This prevents them from learning to tolerate uncertainty and not knowing what we are doing, which means that when we cannot be in contact for whatever reason they will become more distressed and we will have more and more pressure to inform them of our movements continuously. It is healthy, for us and for the relationship, to have times of disconnection from our partner. Also, if this is a problem, do not hesitate to deactivate the notifications that inform them of the hours at which you are connected or the messages you have read.

9. Be assertive and defend your rights

Although, as we said in the first point, it is positive to be understanding and put ourselves in our partner’s place, this does not mean that we should give up our rights or allow the other person to limit us or make us feel bad. Make it clear that there are certain barriers of respect that you are not willing to allow to be crossed in your relationship. Likewise, do not allow your partner to blame you for their jealousy, as it is their responsibility to manage it. Having your life, your privacy or your friendships separate from your partner is not a bad thing.

10. Don’t take responsibility or blame for the behavior of others

A difficult situation arises when there are third parties with whom we had a relationship in the past or who do show sexual interest in us or try to interfere in our relationship. This can trigger jealousy in our partner and lead him or her to blame us for it or use it as an excuse to justify his or her jealous behavior or invalidate our judgment (“You are very naive and that is why you don’t see it”). Remember that you are only responsible for your own behavior and your decisions in the present . The past cannot be changed nor can we prevent other people from acting the way they do. Our partner must learn to trust us today and accept that we have the right to our life and our freedom as well.

11. Express affection and show that you care in other ways

Don’t let jealousy take over your entire relationship. A good relationship should incorporate many more moments of affection, complicity, mutual care, communication and support than of arguments or reproaches. Even if you are having difficulties, or precisely because of it, it is essential that both of you make an effort to notice the things you like about each other, their good gestures or behaviors, and to find ways to express affection and to show that you care for and love each other , beyond jealousy.

12. Suggests that you seek professional help

If, despite all of the above, your partner continues to be jealous and this makes you suffer, it may be time to ask for professional help , since jealousy is sometimes difficult to manage on your own . Learning to trust the other person and to tolerate the uncertainty that every relationship entails can be key to satisfaction in this or future relationships, as well as helping the person deal with other facets of their life that also require trust in oneself or in others.

13. Breaking up can be a good option

Sometimes, despite realizing that the relationship is not good and makes us suffer, we stay in it feeling more and more overwhelmed or suffocated. And many times we do it because we are terribly afraid of the alternative: being “alone,” “failing,” not finding another person again… However, when we face a breakup we usually realize that these fears were unfounded. A professional can help you analyze these fears and get rid of them . Feeling stronger and without fear will be useful whether you decide to break up or choose to stay in the relationship in a healthier and more assertive way.