Contrary to society’s expectations, you may feel that you are not ready for a relationship at a particular time. And even if your partner is the best man in the world, it is perfectly normal to decide that you do not want to torture either him or yourself. It is important to decide what your ideal union is and why you personally need it. The formal status of “in a relationship” will not bring happiness: it is a waste of time.

Some people think that the ability to forgive infidelity is a sign of a wise woman, while others are horrified by the mere thought that their partner could not only sleep with, but even kiss, another woman. In any case, know that infidelity is enough to put an end to a relationship. You shouldn’t look for reasons to forgive if there aren’t any, and especially don’t blame yourself for what happened.

Even if there has been no physical violence so far, overt aggression towards you is something that cannot be left to chance. You may even understand the reasons why your partner lost self-control, but if no action is taken – for example, he could have turned to a therapist or taken a vacation to cope with chronic fatigue – then hoping that this will be the last time is pointless. If he is not going to work on his irascibility, leave before it is too late.

If your main reason for staying in a relationship is the fear of being alone, it’s time to rethink the role of family in your life. You may be able to realize that living with someone you don’t love (and maybe even hate) is much scarier than being without your significant other for a while. Just accept that your situation can’t get any worse. And try to communicate more with candidates you like and who are close in spirit: long-term relationships often start out as friendships.

According to statistics, bad sex is a serious reason for a breakup for every second woman. If you belong to the other half who are less demanding of the quality of intimacy, assess the scale of the disaster. It is one thing if you slightly disagree in sexual preferences, and quite another if every night of love becomes a psychological and physical test. Sooner or later, categorical discord in bed and dissatisfaction with each other will go beyond the bedroom. Is it worth waiting for this moment?

Are you seriously thinking about having a child, and your man suggests waiting “at least” for a few years, or even says that he has no time for it now? Postponing having children in this case is a concession, not a compromise. Try to clarify the vague prospects and formulate a more or less clear plan for the future. If your partner is in no hurry to give you promises on this important issue, for you this is, again, a waste of time, nothing else.

If your partner always dominates and makes the slightest decisions for you, at first you may even like it. At first glance, he is the one you dreamed of: not afraid to take responsibility and ready to solve any of your problems. But over time, you may find that you have completely “lost” yourself and become a different person who dresses, speaks, relaxes the way a man wants, lives someone else’s life, contrary to your own desires. It is never too late to admit a mistake and set personal boundaries. If necessary, even with the help of a breakup.

If you have broken up and gotten back together many times, there were reasons for that. This inconstancy may become the new norm, but you shouldn’t get used to instability. It’s important to identify the reason for the disagreements and either sort it out or break up once and for all. If the reason for the reunion is banal affection and an unwillingness to lose each other, perhaps “staying friends” is your option.