A vacation for two can be magical, or it can end with you wanting to take flying lessons so you can fly home alone as soon as possible. These ten tips will help you have a great vacation and save your relationship.

1. Choose a place together

Before you know it, “No, you hang up first” turns into “No, you didn’t check when it’s rainy season in Thailand.” That’s why you should choose your vacation spot together.

It’s better if neither of you has been there before. If you insist on going somewhere you’ve already been, be prepared to take responsibility for everything: bad coffee, a long line at the museum, or ugly folded swans made of towels.

Surely each of you keeps in mind a list of cities and countries where you want to visit most of all . Transfer it to paper, arrange the places in order of importance and compare your lists. Just choose the country of the first crossing and do not forget to check how things are with the weather, currency and visa.

2. Decide who pays

Thought you had the money issue sorted out on your first date when you split the bill at the restaurant? Not really. Your budget determines where you’ll go, what your living conditions will be, and what you’ll be able to see. So you need to agree on everything before you find plane tickets.

Talking about money will almost certainly be one of the top 10 most difficult conversations you’ll ever have. In my personal ranking, it’s somewhere near explaining to my mom the difference between a hashtag and cashback.

If you earn more than your partner and are not ready to limit yourself in any way, take on some of their expenses. For example, pay for their accommodation or food yourself. Otherwise, you will have to choose a more affordable place or refuse the trip. Estimate how much you will spend per day on food, transportation and entertainment. This will allow you to determine how much money you will need, and then take one and a half times more.

3. Don’t take too many things

They say that it doesn’t matter how old your sneakers are if you’re going to walk around Paris in them. But most girls would only agree to that in the dark. Not only is a girl’s suitcase often several times larger than a man’s, her things, like gas, fill up all the free space, including her companion’s suitcase.

The only advice I can give here is for guys: fit everything into one backpack. That way, it will most likely remain untouched, and it’s still easier to carry a backpack and a suitcase than two suitcases.

4. Don’t be afraid to relax in different ways

There are two types of travelers. Some buy guidebooks from bookstores, plan their route minute by minute, wake up to the alarm clock and, like a broken tap, start dripping on their brains right from the morning. They try to squeeze the most out of every minute and are ready not to sleep at all. Others just walk around the city, take a daytime siesta and spontaneously come up with something to do.

If you are the second type and your companion is the first, the trip may turn into a car ride with Sheldon Cooper. You will learn what costume Manneken Pis was last dressed in and that in the 18th century, Parisian women wore lightning rods on their hats. The only question that will remain unanswered is: “When will all this end?”

To prevent this from happening, choose five places together that you definitely want to see, or five things that you want to do. Let them become a minimum program, from which you will pull out one thing every day, and the rest will follow by itself.

5. Prepare to communicate 24/7

Sooner or later, you’ll tell each other about how badly your ex treated you, how cats are cooler than dogs, and why you had such a stupid haircut in school. On vacation, unlike in everyday life, you won’t be able to tell each other how your boss almost caught you watching “Druzhko Show” today. And then at least one of you will realize that you have nothing to talk about.

In order to talk about something, something has to happen (so you’ll have to give up the trip to the Maldives again). But you can only discuss what you’ve both seen. Scroll through all your social media feeds while you’re standing in line at the Louvre, but don’t be lazy and put your smartphone away for at least the half hour you’re inside. And if you don’t see the Mona Lisa, it’s better to blame it on someone else’s back.

This point perfectly complements the previous one: if you like to relax in different ways, do so. While one reads a book in the room, the other competes with seagulls on a paraglider. Then share the news with each other. This advice also works in the opposite direction: if you feel that there is too much communication, take a break.

6. Don’t be shy about taking lots of photos

It often happens that one person in a couple only takes all the photos , and the other only poses for them. Chances are that by the end of the trip you won’t have any proof that you were there. This is the rare situation that justifies buying a selfie stick to your friends. But you can look for another way out: maybe this is how Murad Osmann came up with FollowMe.

In general, it’s easy to tell from photos whether a relationship has potential. If your partner hasn’t posted a single photo of you on Instagram* during your vacation, you can download Tinder again at the airport.

7. Minimize shared life

The advice “just be yourself” that usually solves all the problems of sitcom heroes doesn’t work. Forget what they taught you. Most likely, you will have to live together for the first time. You will only be shy on the first day, and then you will learn a lot about each other. For example, she also throws things around and doesn’t cook as well as her mother, and he doesn’t always look like Ryan Gosling in the morning.

Like Matt Damon killing Jude Law in The Talented Mr. Ripley, routine can kill all the magic in your relationship. So the first time, try not to rent an apartment with your own kitchen, but book a hotel with room cleaning, lunch and dinner in a cafe. It will probably be more expensive, but it will increase the chances that you will not change the ticket for the second day.

Otherwise, there is a risk that the vacation will end with the eruption of Vesuvius, which will cover the relationship with ash. It is better to save the little things for the day when the level of trust is at its maximum, otherwise the partner may get offended and withdraw into himself.

8. Be afraid of shopping

Don’t forget to bring all the patience you have. And yes, sometimes it’s not just men who need it.

When my boyfriend asked me to go with him to the store of his favorite football club, nothing foreshadowed trouble. Everything was going well while he was looking at caps and sweatshirts. The real test began when he started trying on seven identical T-shirts and asking which one was better. Now I can imagine how men usually feel when they go shopping with us, and why sometimes it’s easier for them to play dead.

If your partner is a shopaholic and you don’t share this passion, think of some compensation for yourself in advance, wait for your partner in a cafe or download a meditation app.

9. Make sure you are happy with everything

This is what you really started this whole thing for. It is after this trip that it will become clear how serious you are and whether you want to continue the story. It is like a game of Minesweeper, where every step matters. You didn’t give her a window seat on the plane, you refused to sit in a cafe for an extra half hour while she charged her phone, you almost let her die of hunger while you were looking for a cafe with a TripAdvisor sticker — and that’s it, the game is over.

Some are luckier than others: their beloved loses luggage or steps on a sea urchin. Then you have to decide what to do quickly, while maintaining an outward calm and optimism.

On our first trip, we had a short layover and were terribly late for our flight. Before I could panic, my boyfriend said, “Let’s go,” and ran like Forrest Gump, gathering the other passengers on the flight with him. We still missed our flight, but it looked spectacular.