Have you ever noticed a strange change in the behavior of an older person close to you, but didn’t know how to interpret it? Violence toward older people is more common than we imagine, and it often hides behind silences, evasive glances, or barely permissible excuses. It doesn’t always involve hitting or yelling. Sometimes it manifests itself in subtle, persistent, and deeply damaging ways.
And the most painful thing is that, in many cases, the perpetrator of this violence is someone close to them: a family member, a caregiver, even an institution that should be protecting them.

Identifying this violence, understanding its origins, and knowing how to respond can make the difference between vulnerability and dignity.
Have you wondered what signs you should look for or how to intervene without causing further harm?

Index

• What do we mean by violence against the elderly?
• Signs that may indicate that an older person is being abused
• Causes of violence against the elderly: a look beyond the obvious
• Emotional consequences in abused elderly people
• What can be done to help an elderly person in this situation?
• The importance of prevention and collective awareness
• Conclusion
• Bibliographic references

What do we mean by violence against the elderly?

Violence against older adults includes any action—whether physical, psychological, economic, or institutional—that causes harm or suffering to an older adult, especially if there is a relationship of trust or dependency.
It can occur in the family setting, in nursing homes, or even in the community itself.

It’s not just about physical abuse. In fact, the most common types of violence include:

• Psychological violence : humiliation, shouting, threats, emotional indifference.
• Negligence : lack of medical attention, inadequate nutrition, emotional abandonment.
• Economic violence : improper control of pensions, misappropriation of assets, or financial fraud.
• Physical violence , less frequent but devastating.

In my practice, I’ve worked with older adults who didn’t even know what they were experiencing was violence . Because when abuse becomes normalized in everyday life, it’s easy to mistake it for “older things” or “the caregiver’s difficult personality.”

Signs that may indicate that an older person is being abused

Sometimes symptoms don’t scream, they whisper. And that’s why they’re overlooked.

Some common warning signs are :

• Sudden changes in mood or behavior (apathy, fear, unexplained sadness).
• Injuries without clear cause or inconsistent explanations .
• Social isolation or sudden reduction in contacts .
• Poor hygiene, dirty clothing, or inadequate living conditions.
• Exaggerated fear or submission to certain people.
• Suspicious handling of money or property without justification.

I once treated a 72-year-old woman, Carmen, who stopped attending her day care activities. Her daughter explained that she was “too tired.” Upon further investigation, we discovered that Carmen had been deprived of her cell phone, her bank account had been emptied, and she was restricted from visiting friends. There were no beatings, but there was systematic and silent violence. Through intervention and family therapy, we were able to reestablish healthy bonds and reactivate her support network.

Causes of violence against the elderly: a look beyond the obvious

There is no single cause. Violence toward older adults is often the result of multiple interacting factors : personal, social, familial, and structural.

• Caregiver overload : Chronic stress in unsupported and untrained caregivers can lead to aggressive behavior.
• Deteriorated family relationships : previous histories of abuse, dependency, or accumulated resentments.
• Ageism and discrimination : the idea that older people are “annoying” or “no longer count.”
• Economic difficulties or power imbalances : when control of resources becomes a form of subjugation.

Although it may sound difficult, sometimes those who commit violence are not cruel people, but human beings without sufficient emotional tools, overwhelmed or trapped in their own wounds .

Emotional consequences in abused elderly people

The wounds left by violence aren’t always visible. Some hurt more because they’re invisible.

Older people who experience abuse may experience:

• Persistent depression and anxiety.
• Loss of confidence in themselves and others.
• Isolation, guilt or feeling of worthlessness.
• Worsening of physical illnesses or the appearance of new symptoms.

I remember one case where a 74-year-old man stopped speaking for weeks. He lived with his son, who didn’t hit him, but yelled at him, insulted him, and left him alone for days at a time. In therapy, we gradually recovered his voice. Not just his literal voice, but his inner voice. His right to express what he felt and to set limits.

Violence, when prolonged, undermines identity and autonomy. That’s why it’s not enough to detect it: we must intervene.

What can be done to help an elderly person in this situation?

It’s not easy to intervene, but silence never protects . Here are some possible steps:

1. Listen without judging.Validate what the person says without minimizing it.
2. Observe carefully.Sometimes the signs are subtle and expressed more in the body than in words.
3. Provide clear information.There are public and private resources that can intervene without putting the person at immediate risk.
4. Seek professional help.Psychological support can be crucial for both the victim and the caregiver.

And above all: don’t feel alone in this . There are support networks, social services, specialized associations, and mental health professionals who can help you act prudently, respectfully, and effectively.

The importance of prevention and collective awareness

Talking about violence against older people isn’t about raising alarm, it’s about raising awareness . And it’s also a form of social reparation.

Prevention begins by recognizing:

• That all older people have the right to live with dignity.
• That growing older should not mean losing autonomy or respect.
• That caring also involves caring for our emotions as caregivers.

Often, what helps most isn’t an institutional resource, but rather an attentive, present, and humane network of caring people . One that observes, listens, and asks questions without intruding.

Conclusion

Supporting an older person in a situation of abuse is a profound act of humanity. It requires sensitivity, time, and sometimes courage to break uncomfortable silences.
If anything you’ve read here resonated with you, perhaps because you know someone or because you yourself are going through a similar situation, you are not alone .

At Avance Psicólogos, we have trauma-informed psychologists  who can help you understand and address these types of experiences with respect, warmth, and professionalism.
We have been working for over 25 years, offering in-person therapy in Madrid and online, so you can begin this journey wherever you are.
Schedule your first free consultation and allow us to accompany you in this process of care and healing.