It is no coincidence that the first serious quarrels happen when a couple starts living together. It is everyday life that becomes a rival and a home wrecker, worse than which there is nothing. It turns out that giving up the usual comfort is more difficult than saying vows of love and fidelity. We tell you what everyday trifles can become an obstacle on the path to personal happiness in a relationship with a partner.
Remember how you eagerly anticipated each meeting? They all seemed special in their own way. Instead of going to the zoo and the theater, visiting exhibitions and parties, you spend time watching TV series and eating pizza within four walls. Yes, it is more comfortable, but due to the lack of vivid impressions and emotions, you have practically nothing to discuss. It takes a lot of effort not to pour out accumulated irritation on each other.
The habit of speaking in raised tones
In rare cases, shouting really does mobilize a person, as it stimulates the production of adrenaline. But if you constantly communicate in raised tones, the body adapts and stops reacting to it. At the same time, the irritant itself remains, but instead of eliminating the source of disagreement, the partners pull the blanket over themselves, deciding who is to blame.
Irregular working hours
If you work during the day and your lover at night, then you literally have to allocate a small “window” in your schedule to be alone. Let’s say your boyfriend is a musician touring different cities, and you are busy filming a movie in distant Australia. It is not surprising that most Hollywood couples break up for this very reason.
Eternal accusations and manipulations
As a rule, at the moment of conflict, it is more important for us to speak out than to listen to our partner. Simply because this way we seem to be in a stronger position. However, harmonious relationships are not competitions. There are no winners and losers. Therefore, at the moment of an argument, the most important thing is to learn to pause and ask the person leading questions to understand the motives of their behavior. And only then can you calmly express your point of view without accusations and reproaches.
Keeping silent about grievances and inability to listen to a partner
Sometimes we can’t keep our mouths shut when we need to, and when we shouldn’t, we talk nonsense. Of course, many of our emotional reactions come from childhood, but they are the ones that most often create a wall of misunderstanding and provoke conflict situations. You shouldn’t accumulate grievances inside yourself and keep silent – after all, your partner can’t read minds. At the same time, it is important to learn not only to convey your feelings, but also to try to see the situation through the eyes of the other person. If this doesn’t work, it is better to ask directly than to drown in guesses and build conspiracy theories of an intergalactic scale.
The habit of being a pig at home
When a person lives alone, he does not need to worry about dirty socks on the floor. However, another person, who is especially distinguished by his love for order and cleanliness, will be irritated by this habit. Mountains of unwashed dishes, dust on the windowsill, piles of junk on the table, tangled wires – all this often becomes a trigger for conflicts. At the same time, the man is usually sure that cleaning and housework are exclusively women’s responsibilities. Only a competent distribution of responsibilities will help the couple maintain order in the house and in the relationship.
Ridiculing your partner’s feelings
There is nothing worse than indifference or disregard for the feelings of a partner. What seems like nonsense to one person, will be like losing ground under the feet of another. It is important to remember that each person copes with difficulties differently. Sometimes we react too emotionally or aggressively, but this does not mean that we are bad people. Instead of ridicule and condescension, it is always nicer to receive support.
Monotonous sex or lack thereof
Tactile contact is very important in a couple. We instinctively want to touch the one we like. If sex has disappeared in a relationship, it is worth thinking about. Perhaps it is worth adding variety to your intimate life. Otherwise, sooner or later the couple will break up or start looking for adventures on the side.
The habit of remembering old grievances
There are no relationships without conflicts, but it is one thing when a couple works on mistakes and moves forward, and another when it is stuck because of old grievances. If your partner has not lived up to your expectations, it is better to break up with him immediately, instead of trying to establish contact when you have not completely forgiven him in your heart. Ask yourself, why are you doing this? Perhaps you just want to bind the person to you more strongly by imposing a sense of guilt on him? If so, then it is unlikely that your relationship will bring joy to both.
Playing to the crowd
When a relationship is falling apart, most couples focus less on fixing the relationship and more on the opinions of others. Instead of concentrating on resolving disputes, they spend a lot of energy on remaining a happy couple in the eyes of others. Moreover, both may actually have no interest in each other and spend their free time separately, having affairs on the side. Needless to say, this only deepens the gap between the partners?