The cult of two halves often dictates that from the beginning of a relationship, partners should be inseparable: live together, visit each other, and vacation only together. In fact, separate vacations can sometimes serve a couple better. We normalize the right to vacation without a partner and give several reasons for loving separate vacations.
You can switch off and take a break from each other
Everyone has at least once had the idea of going into the forest and never being online again. A separate vacation is a good chance to do this. At least in miniature, but to cover this need. For example, go to a spa alone, go on a short retreat to a sanatorium , lock yourself in a room with a pack of chips.
Each person has their own ideas about personal boundaries and the need for personal space . Separate rest is a way to restore your own strength and resources, recharge, and “feel yourself” again.
It also happens that a couple experiences burnout . It’s okay, it happens even in the best relationships when partners spend too much time together. Then, a separate vacation can also become a saving break from each other for the relationship. It will help to cope with burnout, affection , and fatigue . This is a less radical way than taking a break from the relationship .
The opportunity to pay attention to loved ones
Each partner has their own circle of close people who appeared before the relationship. It’s great when contact with them continues. Meetings with friends, trips to family are also recreation. And it is not necessary to add a partner to it.
Firstly, not everyone is ready to immediately accept a partner “into the party” or family – people need time to trust a new person. This means that his presence can affect the quality of the meeting and the openness of dear people. Secondly, sometimes a separate vacation is an opportunity, for example, to be alone with your mother, like in childhood, or to remember the most soulful sleepovers with girlfriends.
Relationships with loved ones are just as important as with a partner. If your partner tries to “not let you in” somewhere, then you should think about whether he or she controls your life and contacts with others too much. This may be the first sign of an abusive relationship .
Refusing to compromise in favor of the perfect vacation for you
Each partner is a separate individual with their own needs and ideas about rest. Someone likes to lie in the sun and read, someone is a fan of active rest. Someone is ready to sell their soul for a trip to a hotel by the sea, and someone passionately wants to lie around for a couple of weeks at a dacha near the forest.
Constantly finding compromises is a useful skill, but sometimes even this can become tiresome. You can agree with your partner that you, for example, spend two holidays a year together and one separately. Each will get a break from social contracts and relax the way they want.
You can choose your favorite season for vacation
To have a separate vacation as a couple, you don’t have to combine every vacation and fight with colleagues for those precious days that coincide with your partner. You can skip the boring part of comparing two calendars and looking for free slots between work, study and other plans.
You can go on vacation at a time that is convenient for you. For example, you are a fan of winter holidays, and you will plan a trip in winter with friends or solo to a ski resort. And your partner will go on vacation in the spring to enjoy the awakening of nature and walk a lot. Everyone will get their own in their favorite time of year.
A Chance to Overcome Relationship Anxiety
In healthy relationships, trust is there from the start – it is the very foundation on which they are built. But we come to relationships with different experiences: anxious people may find it very difficult to let their partner go somewhere. Loneliness is frightening: it is scary for both yourself and the other: how is he there without me, and how am I here without him? Regular, well-ending separate vacations can be a small step in the fight against your anxiety.
While on vacation, people usually stay in touch or go offline no more often than during work (where, by the way, they are also usually apart from their partner). And now there are also many opportunities to stay in touch at a distance. If you know that you will be worried when your partner goes somewhere without you, talk about it first. It is important that he knows and understands your feelings. Agree on how you will both be comfortable keeping in touch. For example, exchanging memes, regularly calling, sending photos, throwing your geolocation. Anything that you use every day will work. And don’t forget to discuss your feelings with your partner when he returns. How did you feel during his vacation? And how was he? Did you want to add additional contact? Or did something cause strong anxiety?
Small separate trips and separate vacations are a kind of vaccination against sudden absences. After all, it may happen that one of you will be sent on a business trip or someone will urgently need to visit relatives in another city. It is easier to practice in advance in a controlled and defined environment.
Separate vacations do not mean a lack of love
Who decided that couples should do everything together? We protest and leave this issue to the discretion of the couple themselves. You don’t even have to live together and sleep in the same bed .
Look for what suits you. You can love from a distance, just like you can show signs of attention. Separate holidays will bring new impressions, refresh your relationship and even strengthen it. Remember that you are, first of all, two separate people who have decided to be together. Separate holidays do not cancel your choice, on the contrary, they reinforce it.