By the age of 30, you have everything except a relationship – a situation that is relevant for many residents of a big city. Friends and colleagues pity and advise to lower the bar, relatives appeal to conscience and beg for grandchildren. Meanwhile, being single after 30 is completely normal and not a bit shameful. And here’s why.
Have you ever thought that the shame of not being in a relationship is entirely a societal invention? That’s right – nothing like that exists in nature. Society programs you: “It’s indecent to be a single woman.” This program makes you think that there is something wrong with you.
But love and relationships are not a point on a resume, not qualities that can be acquired through training and willpower. And if you don’t have a partner yet, don’t be sad and despair, perhaps this time is given to you to understand yourself.
Below are the facts about why you shouldn’t be ashamed of being single by 30.
You value your independence
You know what real freedom and independence are. You don’t need someone else’s approval or permission to do what you really like. What movie to watch, where to go in the evening and how to spend your vacation – only you decide.
No compromises or concessions that make your soul ache. You make your own decisions about your life, and only you are responsible for your actions.
You are growing as a professional.
By 30, you know exactly what your strengths and weaknesses are and use both your advantages and disadvantages perfectly. You already have a good understanding of what you want, and you have the strength and time to build the career of your dreams.
By 30, people are much better at distinguishing between a one-night stand and a serious relationship. The ability to distinguish between these concepts, says relationship coach and specialist Keren Eldad, develops right around 30-35 years of age. You are well familiar with the road of broken hearts, and you will not step on the same rake of toxic relationships again. This is invaluable experience.
You take care of yourself
Taking care of yourself is difficult in general, and for those in a relationship, it can be very difficult. There is simply not enough time for yourself: you need to take care of your partner, children, and deal with a million other things.
You learn from other people’s mistakes
If your married friends have a habit of sharing details and difficulties of their lives with you, you have probably already become a real expert in matters of living together and everyday life. You can use this knowledge and experience later, when there is a person with whom you want to be with every day.
A vacation in Africa, a new handbag, tickets to a cool premiere at the theater – you do not put off your desires for later. You do not have to fit them into the queue of other people’s requests. Many women in relationships generally become hostages to the desires of their partners and gradually lose their “I”. The risk that this will happen to you tends to zero.
It may be hard for others to believe, but you really don’t need a man to feel important, needed, and attractive. Yes, that’s right – even the best, kindest, and most understanding man is not needed for this. In a relationship, there is a very high risk of becoming emotionally dependent on your partner. This is what Bella Dipaolo, a social psychologist and author of a book about stereotypes associated with the life of singles, thinks.
For married girlfriends, the partner gradually becomes everything: a lover, a friend, a psychologist. Not every man can handle such a burden, and the whole story becomes like a card castle, ready to collapse at any moment. All this is covered with a cloying sauce of love and romance. But true love does not imply placing expectations on a partner. You will avoid this trap – only you decide when and what to feel