Have you ever been hurt by a message, photo, or post that seemed harmless… but wasn’t? Digital violence and cyberbullying do n’t always leave visible marks, but they can hurt just as deeply as direct aggression. Sometimes it happens on social media, other times in private chats, or even in virtual work environments. The problem is that many people don’t realize they’re being victimized until the emotional damage is already deep.

In my practice, I’ve seen how this type of aggression can damage self-esteem, increase anxiety, and leave the person trapped in fear or isolation.
What if we learned to detect these signs earlier, more clearly? What if there were concrete ways to act and protect ourselves without feeling guilty or alone?

Index

• What do we mean by digital violence and cyberbullying?
• Signs that may indicate digital violence or cyberbullying
• Psychological consequences of cyberbullying
• What to do if you are experiencing cyberbullying or digital violence?
• The importance of psychological intervention
• What if I witness digital violence?
• Conclusion
• Bibliographic references:

What do we mean by digital violence and cyberbullying?

When we talk about digital violence , we’re referring to a type of violence that can encompass any form of aggression, harassment, or control that occurs through technological means: social media, instant messaging, email, forums, or any other online environment.
Cyberbullying , on the other hand , is a specific form of digital violence that is repeated over time and seeks to humiliate, exclude, or intimidate someone, especially among adolescents and young adults, although it can also affect adults.

The most difficult aspect is that this type of violence can be constant and invasive , because the devices are always present. This creates a situation where the victim finds no respite: the attacker can be in their pocket, in their room, or even during their workday without needing to be physically nearby.

Signs that may indicate digital violence or cyberbullying

It’s not always easy to see when a digital interaction is violent. Sometimes it’s disguised as jokes, sarcastic comments, or “loving” control. But there are signs worth looking for:

• Repeated messages that are uncomfortable or insulting.
• Dissemination of private images without consent.
• Creating fake profiles to harass or ridicule.
• Systematic exclusion from online groups or silencing.
• Constant pressure to share passwords or grant access to networks.
• Subtle threats (“if you don’t do this, I’ll tell you about that”).

I once saw a teenager who began receiving abusive messages anonymously after ending a relationship. For weeks, she thought I was exaggerating. During the consultation, we discovered that screenshots of her were circulating without permission. The impact on her self-esteem was devastating, but we worked together to strengthen her boundaries, identify support networks, and regain her voice.

Psychological consequences of cyberbullying

Even without physical contact, digital violence leaves an emotional mark. Among the most common are:

• Constant anxiety about checking your phone, messages, or what others are saying.
• Low self-esteem and shame from feeling exposed or ridiculed.
• Social isolation , due to fear of being attacked or not knowing who to trust.
• Sleep disorders or problems concentrating.
• Feeling of vulnerability or helplessness.

In adults, it can also cause symptoms of chronic stress , emotional burnout or reactive depression , especially if the harassment occurs in a professional or emotional environment.

What to do if you are experiencing cyberbullying or digital violence?

The first thing you need to know is that you’re not overreacting . If something hurts you, that’s reason enough to pay attention to it. These steps can help:

• Set boundaries . You’re not obligated to respond to someone who hurts you.
• Document the evidence. Screenshots, dates, messages… anything can be useful.
• Seek emotional support. Talk to someone you trust or go to therapy.
• Report or block. Don’t be afraid to use reporting tools on platforms or seek legal advice if needed.
• Avoid direct confrontation. In many cases, it doesn’t respond to reasoning and can escalate.

I remember one case of an adult man who began receiving insults from fake accounts after a family argument. He didn’t want to go to therapy because he felt it wasn’t “that serious.” Little by little, he realized that this constant belittling was indeed deeply affecting him. We worked on his right to protect himself, and he learned to set boundaries without feeling guilty.

The importance of psychological intervention

Many people feel embarrassed about talking about the harm a post, comment, or message has caused them. They think they should be able to “let it go” or that it’s just “an internet thing.” But that’s not the case.

Digital violence has a real impact, and you deserve to address it like any other form of abuse.

In therapy, we work on several approaches:
• Validating emotional pain , without minimizing it.
• Rebuilding self-esteem affected by exposure or contempt.
• Strengthening self-care skills and healthy boundaries .
• Addressing fear of social judgment and the tendency to blame oneself for what happened.

Each process is different, but they all have a common goal: to regain a sense of personal security .

What if I witness digital violence?

Sometimes, silence can do more damage than direct insults. If you see someone being harassed or publicly exposed, don’t minimize it.
You can:

• Provide direct support to the affected person, even with a private message.
• Report the post or the aggressor to the appropriate platform.
• Do not share or comment on harmful content, even if it is only to criticize it.

And if you’re frequently affected by these kinds of situations, you also have the right to take care of your emotional health. We live hyperconnected lives, but we’re not obligated to endure violence in any form.

Conclusion

Cyberbullying and digital violence are not minor or temporary problems. They have lasting and profound effects and deserve our full attention. If you’ve identified with any of these situations, it’s not due to weakness: it’s due to sensitivity, awareness, and the realization that something isn’t right and deserves attention. Sometimes , understanding that you’re not alone and that what hurts you is legitimate is the first step toward healing.

At Avance Psicólogos, we have a team of psychologists specializing in self-esteem in Madrid who can help you regain your confidence and emotional strength. We offer in-person therapy in Madrid and also online, wherever you are.
Schedule your first free consultation and let us guide you on this journey toward respect and emotional care.