What the psychologist says: “The real issue here is whether you’re willing to risk the friendship by telling the truth,” says Dr. Conrad. “If it’s physical or emotional abuse, it’s definitely worth intervening. If the guy is just a nasty guy, it’s not so clear-cut.”

In this situation, both Jordan Conrad and Chiara Bogdanovich recommend bringing up specific facts. Then asking how your friend felt (instead of how it looked to you). For example: “Hey, I noticed that N was being kind of dismissive toward you, and I wasn’t sure how that made you feel. Are you okay? Does he always talk to you like that?”

“It’s very important to take your friend’s vision into account and not impose your opinion on her,” Bogdanovich emphasizes. “Paradoxically, if you don’t do this, you yourself behave towards her the same way as this guy.”

Evaluation of AI effectiveness: 6 out of 10.